Winter Solstice

Every year, Muir Woods Park Services hold a Winter Solstice party. There were bonfires and singing and free apple cider. But the most amazing things are the candles. They're just little tea lights in white paper bags, but the rangers line all the main paved paths in the beginning part of the park. We wandered through once when it was just getting dark, and I'm glad we did. You could still see the redwoods stretching above you, but you could see the candles stretching into the woods like fairy lights too. A few hours later, that's ALL you could see. Our camera isn't good enough to capture all those, but we got a few decent closeup shots (see me above!) It got SO COLD, but it just made you want to huddle around the bonfires. Our night ended with watching a group of men do what I can only assume is a traditional pagan dance to the sound of a recorder. The best (and first) solstice celebration I've been too!

Silly things

And so this is Xmas,
I hope you have Jasmine.

Merry Xmas (War is Over)
from the Christmas Song Generator.

Get your own song :

Ahahahahahahahaha!
And almost as funny:

I'm dreaming of a white Jasmine,
Just like the ones we used to know.

White Christmas
from the Christmas Song Generator.

Get your own song :

In real news, I'm making peanut butter kiss cookies today and I did the thing where you substitute unsweetened applesauce for half the butter and before I got all the other ingredients in there they tasted like apple peanut butter cookies which is not a bad thing. Not bad at all. Now we just have to see if they will hold their balls.
We're going to get a Christmas tree tomorrow!

Hotlanta

We're back from Atlanta! We didn't actually see much of the city, of course, being almost entirely wrapped up in Bar Mitzvah activities, but the skyline was pretty :)
Also, it was colder than I expected. Not like Wisconsin or Delaware cold, but cold enough to require a sweatshirt and hat at night.
I met Joe's "extended" family at this gathering. His Aunt Jacki is really his godmother, and an old friend of his dad's, but Joe thinks of them all as family. His cousins are really cool, and very easy to hang out with.
As soon as we got to the hotel (the Hyatt), a hotel employee met us at the door, told us they were overbooked, and sent us "next door" to the Hilton. The Hilton was actually half a mile down the road.
Nobody explained anything to us. The Hyatt gave us a letter saying they were paying for the night, but we assumed we were still paying for the original room...we were very confused. Also the Hilton did not have free breakfast and that annoyed me too. In the end, it turned out we got our first night FREE which made me very happy. If only they would have explained that to us in the first place, I wouldn't have gotten all irritated with them. Also, we came and got our free breakfast from them Saturday morning anyways!

Our Fun New Project

Because you know you've missed watching Joe drink beer on a couch:
http://www.beeratjoes.com/
Don't worry, I'll make some appearances eventually. But I'm more of a behind-the-camera, writing the post text, kind of gal.
Eventually, though, I hope to do a women in beer and beer for non-beer drinkers series (if we managed to find a beer my mom likes, I should be able to please anyone!)

Not Austistic

I took this test to find out if I was autistic: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Apparently the results mean I'm mostly normal, with a tiny flare of compulsive behaviors.
This seems to stem from
1) My daydreaminess
2)My aversion to loud noises and inability to deal with background noise and
3) My utter exhaustion from spending too much time with people from any length of time

I'm pretty sure 2 & 3 come directly from my parents. But also, when I worked at the rehab center, someone once suggested to me that I might have a mild auditory dysfunction. It's not the same as being slightly deaf. It's about how my brain processes sound.

[img]http://www.rdos.net/eng/quizpoly.php?p1=18&p2=80&p3=28&p4=24&p5=69&p6=54&p7=18&p8=67&p9=29[/img]

Weird Things on the Internet

It's been a whole month since my last post. Eep!
So here's a fun link for you:
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html

I see it counter-clockwise, and the only way I can make it go clockwise is to unfocus and let my lazy eye go out to the side.
I don't know what that says about me. Was I more creative before I gained control of that eyeball? Hmm...

The Wedding

My whole body aches today. In the last 5 days, I spent 13 hours on a plane, 5 hours sleeping sitting upright on a plane, 2 hours sleeping sprawled on the floor of the Cinncinati airport, danced for 3 hours in heels, drove from Milwaukee to Madison and back again (tense and frantic both times) and got less than 5 hours of sleep per night on average.I'm actually suprised I feel as good as I do.
Coffee was enough to keep me going today; no painkillers necessary.
After a less-painful-than-last-time redeye to Milwaukee, my friend picked Joe and I up at the airport and drove us to her parents' house for showers, cereal and coffee. We then rushed out to see my other friend's new baby (cute!) and then on to the Miller Brewery Tour, because that's how we roll. The actual tour is kinda lame, but they give you quite a bit of free beer at the end, so it's worth it. Also, they will mail a brewery postcard to anywhere in the world. I got an awesome t-shirt too, with the Miller Girl in the Moon in pink on the front.
That night we BBQed and got eaten to shreds by mosquitos, but that was the longest night of sleep we got.
The next day, Joe and I rented a car and drove to New Glarus, home to the greatest beer of all time. Spotted Cow is what they're known for, but the Belgian Red is to die for. The town of New Glarus is know as Wisconsin's Little Switzerland, and the buildings are all decked out swiss-style. There's even a Historic Swiss Village. We ate Wiener Schnitzel and fried cheese curds at one of the restaurants in town. They had nuttin' but New Glarus beer on tap! The food was awesome, though I don't think The Boy got an accurate representation for his first taste of deep-fried cheese curds. They should be breaded, greasy, squeaky little nuggets that were shipped frozen in a cardboard box. These ones were homemade and delicious.The actual brewery tour is great. It's a self-guided audio tour, and it will make you love the owners. I got a t-shirt there, too.
Parents: It's only 20 minutes away, just past Fitchburg, and totally worth an afternoon of your time next time you're down there!
Dinner was had on State Street. Since it was the first Friday of the school year, we were swarmed with students. It was still fun, until I discovered that the Catacombs is gone. My favorite coffeeshop of all time, in the basement of a church at the beginning of State Street is now A SUBWAY!!! STATE STREET ALREADY HAS A SUBWAY!!! Not to sound like a "good ole days" whiner, but come on. How many chains do we need on State Street? I wouldn't be so sad if all these places were being replaced by new and interesting stores, but it seems like the chain restaurants just keep multiplying. It's depressing.
Saturday morning was the Farmer's Market. My friend, after seeing an old lady walk by, and then two students, remarked that she loved the farmer's market because there were so many different people here. I looked around and pointed out that every single person there was white. Some of the sellers were Asian or Mexican. Other than that...white. Discussion ensued.
The wedding that night was by far the most traditional one I've been to in a long time. The bride had a great big veil, her father "gave" her away, they had swans carved out of ice, you got to choose salmon or chicken for your meal, everyone did the hokey pokey...you get the idea. I had tons of fun, since most of my college friends were there. Most of the time we were the only ones dancing, and we were some of the few who closed out the reception.
Man, I miss my friends.

Whirlwind Wisconsin Weekend

Off to Wisconsin for Kelly's wedding soon. We're taking a redeye tonight (ugh!) and arriving in Milwaukee around 9am tomorrow. Then we will have a whirlwind tour of Milwaukee, including the Miller Brewery, and my friend and her new baby. On Friday we'll head to New Glarus (http://www.swisstown.com/) to see the kitchy Swiss buildings but mostly to visit the New Glarus Brewery, my favority brewery of all time.
Yes, that's a lot of beer. But since we're spending the rest of the time with all of MY college friends, I figure I owe Joe that much.
Then Saturday is the wedding, Sunday is recovery and our flight back. Whew!
Then planning for my parents' trip here shall begin! Er...continue, I mean.

Kill Me Now

Why, yes--I did just spend 3 hours watching the beach volleyball playoffs. Why do you ask?

Because I know you were worried...

The Great Bra Crisis of 2007 has been averted! You may now returned safely to your homes in an orderly fashion!
I got a few of other things too. I spent all Friday night shopping, while Joe went to see Avenue Q (I saw it on Broadway). I got some shirts, a pair of shorts, and found a dress for Kelly's wedding.
I didn't even spend much money. A lot of my purchases came from Macy's and I (finally!) used the gift card Joe's mom gave me for Christmas.
Plus the dress was on sale at JCPenneys. ALL dresses were on sale there (if anyone else is interested), presumably because the prom/school dance season is well over, and the summer wedding season is nearly over.
And I already have heels to match the dress, so I don't have to go shoe shopping. That's ANOTHER crisis averted!

Caffeinated Snot

This morning I went to go take a drink of my coffee, and realized that it smelled the same way a damp basement full of old magazines smells. Since I had made the good hazelnut coffee this morning, that couldn't be possible. I decided it was probably the mug (which I hadn't bothered to wash that morning and had been sitting in my desk cupboard overnight). I took another experimental sip, and managed to slop coffee down my (white) shirt. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen to sop it up.
While in the kitchen, I realized my nose was running. I blew my nose and out came coffee.
No kidding.
I don't know if I actually managed to get coffee UP my nose when I slopped it everywhere, or if I inhaled the coffee that was in my mouth at the time up the back of my nasal passages when I jumped up to run away. But at least it wasn't too hot.
I am corporate material for sure!
Also, in case you were concerned, I did manage to get the coffee stains out of my shirt.
While we're on the subject of TMI, I currently only have 3 bras left that I can wear. Only one of them actually fits. I have dubbed this the great bra crisis of 2007 and I am skipping a beer event with Joe tomorrow to go shopping for these critical underthings.
I will be sure to let you know when we are off red alert.

Finances

I actually managed to pay off my credit cards a few months ago (I got backed up because of the move) and now I've started saving again. Yay for savings!
I use ING direct, which is an online bank. They give you a higher interest rate than most regular banks (just under 5 percent right now) but they are still FDIC insured. I finally got both Joe and Luke to open one of these for themselves. It takes about 1-2 days for me to transfer funds out of it, so I keep some (but very little) emergency money stashed in my savings account that is linked to my debit card too.
I never stopped putting money into my IRA (you can't, or you get charged extra fees and that's stupid). Recently, I split the money that was in there. I kept half in the regular fund I had originally chosen (which is supposed to be a growth and income type of index fund--and has done pretty well so far). The other half I put into an emerging Asian markets fund--as in stocks from India, China, etc. I wish I would have done this a while ago. Those markets have SHOT up. They're risky, but you can make serious money. You can be risky when you're young. And in the end, they are still mutual funds, so aren't THAT risky. When that one gets big enough, I'm going to split it again, and put half the money into another emerging markets fund, maybe a Europe or South America one this time.
On top of this, I actually have a real 401k at work. With matching funds, even. I started putting money into that as soon as I was eligible. Woot. I might not have to keep working until I'm 90. All that money is in a standard stock market index fund. I don't know how long I'll be working here, so I don't want to go sticking it in crazy funds that might be way down when I am forced to take the money out.
The only area I'm falling behind in is my paperwork. I have a mound of papers piling up, including unopened bank statement from the last couple of months. I really need to sort through those and double-check all my numbers and such. Also, Joe and I were going to open up a brokerage account so we could mess around with buying individual stocks that we want--but that seems to have stalled out. Again. We'll see.

Party like it's 1999

This last weekend was packed with wild and crazy times--so I'm going to try to rip through it for ya'.
First of all, my friend Kelly, whose wedding I'm going back to Madison for in a few weeks, was in town for a visit. So Friday night we grabbed food in North Beach (we ran out of time trying to wait to get into a crowded italian restaurant and wound up grabbing burgers) and went to a comedy club. Christy, of course, decides that it would be a fantastic idea for us to sit in the FRONT ROW. This is a bad idea. Usually I worry about Joe, who tends to get picked on at things like this. But no, Kelly was the one who got all the flak. Every. Single. Comic made a comment about how bored she looked--she would smile but didn't laugh. Plus, we were so close, it was hard to keep looking up at them. We were looking right up their noses, so they made fun of her for looking away. Which made it all the more hilarious for us!
The next morning, we dragged ourselves out of bed early...to catch a limo to Napa Valley! That's right, a limo. One of my coworkers had decided to gather a group of people to all pitch in on a limo together. We first went to a winery that specialized in sparkling wines. I'm not usually a huge fan, but they had a few tasty ones. Next we went to V. Sattui, which also has a deli inside. I LOVE their wines. Joe, Christy and I shared 2 different tastings, so that we each got a sip of almost every wine they have. The guy serving us was really nice, and we even convinced him to let us try the Vin Santo that they stock. Which we rewarded him by buying a bottle each of, and then a few other kinds as well. We got sandwiches and sat outside on a picnic table and ate lunch with everyone else. It was so packed there, I was a little annoyed at first, but it was really fun to sit outside with everyone.
Then we went to one more, one of the "big name" wineries. The kind you can find in a liquor store in Wisconsin.
Bleh. There was not a single one of their wines that I liked--and the tasting was outrageously expensive. The grounds of the vineyard, though, are stunning. It you can see the mountains all around. I hear that their tours are actually quite good, but you have to make a reservation ahead of time. I kind of wished we would have planned a little better, but other people didn't want to "lock" us in to a schedule. Oh well. Next time.
On the way home, while cracking open bottle after bottle in the limo (hey, one bottle split among 12 people does not go far. You get about a third of a glass each), everyone talked the 3 of us into going to a party (that another one of my coworkers was throwing) in the hills of Oakland. I had already told her no, we wouldn't be attending, because we will have no way to get home from there.
Yet somehow (the copious amounts of wine perhaps?) we were convinced to go.
And I'm very glad we did. I had SO much fun. Totally worth the chaos that came later. There were a lot of people there I knew, I hung out with coworkers that I don't get to talk to much, Christy and Joe had fun, there was a turkey burger cook-off, a trivia contest and a dalmation who kept licking the cheese and crackers in my hand. People played music in the garage for a while. The view from their backyard is STUNNING. You can see all of Oakland. When I say they are in the hills, I mean they're halfway up a mountain.
We tried calling a cab. A lot of us did, because a lot of us needed to get home. We called over and over, but this is Oakland, and apparently the rules are not the same. ONE cab came. For 10 people. We sent off the first four and waited for more. No more came. Eventually we sent 3 more people off with one of my friends, since they were only going to the other side of Oakland.
We waited. I lost Christy for a while and freaked out. I drank more sangria.
Joe and I were prepared to crash on the couch there, but Kelly (who was not with us) was going to be getting back to Christy's house soon, so Christy was (understandably) determined to get back to her. In retrospect, we should have crammed Christy into the first cab that arrived, then Joe and I would have just stayed. And actually, Joe had decided that he was not going to sleep on a couch but rather, out on their lawn so he could watch the sun rise over Oakland. I would have liked to see how long he lasted.
Finally, one of my work friends (who had not been drinking) volunteered to drive us all the way back to SF. He's a sweetie.
I must have drank more than I thought (Their sangria was delicious!!) because the next morning I was moving
verrrrrrrrry.
verrrrrrrry.
sloooooooooooooooowly.
I was still better than Joe who didn't move at ALL until, oh, noonish.
By the time we got going, we just managed to make it to Golden Gate Park to meet everyone at the Japanese Tea Garden, which was a relaxing way to spend the day. Then we went back to Christy's for a BBQ. Her roommates went all out. We had chicken, beef, guacamole, burgers, homemade chicken nuggets...and sangria. Which I'm sure was delicious, though I couldn't make myself have any.
We dragged ourselves home--we were the first ones to leave. Usually really packed weekends annoy me. I just want to relax. But I had so much fun this weekend, that I was actually excited to go into work on Monday. I should party with my coworkers more often!

Journals

Last week I bought a new journal. This may not seem like a hugely momentous occasion, but you see, I haven't had a journal in a really long time. The last journal I had was unlined, and that bothered me more than I would admit. I refused to get a new one until this one was filled.
The one before that was cheap and the pages kept falling out.
I got out of the habit of carrying one around with me. Sometimes I would make journal entries in my writing notebook, but it's been harder to keep track of things in that mess lately.
So I finally bought perfect new one (screw those empty pages on the last one. They mock me), soft and pretty, covered in green flowered fabric with a leather tie to close it.
My freshman year of college, I started a brand-new journal on the first day I arrived there, and finished the last page the night before I left. I love having that account of my first year away from home, and I can tell you what I did almost every single weekend that year by referring to it. I wish I had more of that for my time in New York and now San Francisco.
One of the biggest reasons I decided to start journaling again was because of all the people I'm meeting. I have a huge volume of people moving through my life, and I'm sure I won't remember a lot of them in a few years. Which is sad because they're interesting.
I think of this as refilling the well. If I write about people I've met, and about my dreams--which are intense--I will always have something to write about when I sit down. It's a good feeling.

More on the Great Yogurt Search

I think I've found my yogurt. Safeway carries a store brand called "O Organics" which appear to be sort of organics for the masses. I don't know how sustainable or truly organic they are, but every food I've had of this brand I've really liked.
I like the yogurt especially because it is fairly low-fat and low-cal, but there is no aspartame. In addition, there is no high fructose corn syrup in it. Instead, it's sweetened with evaporated cane juice. Why is high fructose corn syrup bad? Well, there are debates. From a SF Chronicle article a few years ago:

"The theory goes like this: The body processes the fructose in high fructose corn syrup differently than it does old-fashioned cane or beet sugar, which in turn alters the way metabolic-regulating hormones function. It also forces the liver to kick more fat out into the bloodstream.
The end result is that our bodies are essentially tricked into wanting to eat more and at the same time, we are storing more fat."

Here's the article from the San Francisco Chronicle about corn syrup. The wikipedia entry goes into more detail, but is a little harder to translate. Basically, even today, we still don't really know if this is worse for our body than regular sugar. A lot of people think it's like the aspartame issue: that it's a lot of hype. Other people think this could be at the root of the obesity epidemic. Corn Syrup is in EVERYTHING now.
I have decided to be distrustful of extra chemicals in general. There is nothing in this yogurt that I can't pronounce, and that can't be a bad thing.
There are other organic yogurts, but they tend to be very expensive. This is a good happy-medium. It costs more than Dannon but less than Stoneybrook farms. Plus, many of the other organic yogurts only have full-fat versions.
Unfortunately this brand is only available at Safeway, which I think is only on the west coast. But check some labels. I'm sure they're not the only ones out there.

Food

Apparently I do the same thing with cherry tomatoes as I do with sugar snap peas and chocolate chips.

This sunday is the garlic festival. I do NOT do the same thing with garlic. I have a strange relationship with garlic, rather love-hate. Also, it is apparently going to be like a hundred degrees there, which will not do wonders for the smell, I'm sure. Perhaps the stench will revive me when I faint. I may even be persuaded to try garlic ice cream afterwards.

FYI: People who do not like bacon annoy me. I mean, it's BACON. What's not to like? If you're morally opposed to it because you're a vegetarian, that's fine, as long as you still acknowledge that it's the greatest smell in the world, and that if you were going to break your vegetarianism for anything, it would totally be bacon.

SP 4 Eva

Smashing Pumpkins was soooo fun! Who needs James Iha? Not me! You just need Billy Corgan. The rest of the band just needs to learn the notes.
Halfway through, the rest of the band left anyways, and Billy played by himself with an acoustic guitar. Then they came back for a glorious finale.
They played most of my favorite songs, and a lot of new stuff. It was perfect. The Fillmore is an awesome place to see him--it's very small.
Okay, yes, fine. I cried during "Bullet with Butterfly Wings." Just a little. I didn't even notice until the song was over. Have you ever had a song change your life? I was fourteen, and I thought, WHERE did he get that voice, and HOW exactly does he know what my rage feels like?

Billy Corgan

I'm going to the Smashing Pumpkins concert tonight, too-ooonight!
I must be getting old because I'm annoyed that it won't start until 9pm (which means SP won't finish until well after midnight). I have get up for work at 6am people!
Also, I have brought earplugs with me. Joe tells me that this really is pretty acceptable and not that uncool. It is, in fact, MORE uncool to stand there with your fingers in your ears, scowling at the band because they suddenly got louder.
Should be a fairly tame concert, considering. SF is a chill place, and the Fillmore is not a venue that inspires one to mosh or anything like that. Plus, I can't imagine that anyone there will be any younger than, oh, me.

Fake Sugar

There is a new, but controversial and arguable, study out that shows:

"People who drank one or more diet sodas each day developed the same risks for heart disease as those who downed sugary regular soda...
It could be, they suggest, that even no-calorie sweet drinks increase the craving for more sweets, and that people who indulge in sodas probably have less healthy diets overall."

My money is on the "increased craving for sweets" thing. I try to avoid fake sweeteners like aspartame when I can. I think it keeps us all addicted to sugar. I don't drink any kind of soda, but it drives me nuts that I can't find a low-calorie yogurt that isn't full of fake sweetener. I really don't need it to taste THAT sweet.
To read the full article about the study, click HERE.
There is probably fake sugar in more things than I think, like the "light" Swenson's ice cream I like so much. I'd better watch out for that. I'd really just rather eat the real thing, but less of it.
That's why I only eat dark chocolate :) Why muck it up with milk and sugar?

Twitchy Issues

Does it make anyone else INTENSELY uncomfortable when people walk next to you on the street?
Like when you're walking down the street and a stranger comes out of Starbucks just as you're walking by and go the same direction as you.
Then you wait at a stoplight together.
Then you walk down the next block side by side. You try to slow down to let them get ahead of you, but that doesn't really seem to work because maybe they're doing the same thing at the exact same time. And you can't go any slower because man, you're already late for work.
So you try to walk faster, but you have short legs and can only go so fast and as soon as you get a little bit ahead of them you reach the next stoplight which has just turned red so you're even again. And that was your last burst of speed because it's 8:03 am and you haven't had any coffee yet.
So you try to walk as close to the buildings as possible, wishing they would move farther towards the curb, but they can't because this is Oakland and there are homeless people and free newspaper stands everywhere and in this manner you will walk down an entire stretch of deserted street with just one other person, casting suspicious looks their way.
I hate my commute.

Food Stuff

FYI: The Boy has started posting to his food blog, Fork and Pen, fairly regularly again. Check there for more of our adventures!

Laptop

I bought a new laptop this weekend! My old one died two weeks ago. I mean, straight-up died. I plug it in, push power on, and nothing happens.
Luckily I had plenty of warning as my hard drive had been making pathetic clicking noises for a few months now. I had everything backed up already, except possibly a few days of writing. Which probably weren't very good anyways, since I'd been cranking through it for my Novel in 90 wordcounts.
By the way, Novel in 90, not really for me. It was good in the beginning, and then I just felt like I was forcing myself to write stuff I wasn't ready for. It was turning out crummy. This is the same reason I had no fun doing NaNoWriMo. Writing fast is a waste of time, in my opinion. I'd rather write well. Of course, I haven't been doing much of that lately either.
I've never been well served by tracking my words. I used to do BIC (butt in chair) count instead. If I could just sit in front of my computer or notebook for an hour a day, I would do much better. Maybe I should start my own BIC club.
Anyways, the computer. It's a Dell, is about 10 times faster than my old IBM thinkpad, and is only 4.3 pounds! Woot. It should be here next week. My very first new computer.
Also, I've officially broken the 40 pound weight barrier (for myself. Not my computer). I'd been edging closer and closer, ever so slowly, and I finally did it! I finally started tracking points again, is what happened. I've now lost 40.2 pounds. In celebration, I bought myself a pretty purple shirt from Anthropologie.

Local Love

I saw a news clip this morning that said that each human creates more carbon emissions by what they eat than they do by driving.

For example, if you buy a fresh pineapple, realize that that pineapple had to be FLOWN from somewhere tropical to get to you, then probably trucked in to your local grocery. The same is true of all imports.

So what do you do? Eat local, as much as possible.

Yes, it's easy for me to say. I live in California. I could eat nothing but farmer's market produce year round. But even in colder climates you can do your best. Don't buy corn from the grocery store, as there's a good chance it was trucked in from Iowa, or somewhere random. Go find those kids selling it out of the back of a truck. The same goes for tomatoes and other produce. See if there is a local farmer's market anywhere. Of course, driving an hour out of your way to get produce kind of defeats the purpose, but if you plan properly, you can combine trips. This has the added bonus of supporting small farms, which are a dying breed.

Remember, small changes help. Make a raspberry or rhubarb dessert in the summer, instead of something with lemons. Even if you buy them at the store, there's a better chance they are local.

Also, I've always wondered about milk in Wisconsin. Does the milk we buy at the grocery store come from Wisconsin cows? If so, is it also PROCESSED in Wisconsin? That part is important. See if you can check the label and find out. You might be suprised. Same goes with cheese. There is NO REASON to buy Vermont cheese or Vermont maple syrup in Wisconsin.

What else is local to your area?

Back to Square One

ARGH!! After not hearing back from this glorious job I desparately wanted for two weeks, I finally called them today. The person answers and says he's glad to hear from me. He's sorry He hasn't been in touch but that's what HR advised him to do. And no, they haven't filled the position yet.

Then he goes on about how difficult it has been to find someone who can do everything because there are so many different parts to this job and blah blah blah. And how you really can't know how a person will do until you work with them.

Yes. This is how employment works. Everyone does it.

Then she says they think they might try a few people out on a freelance basis. Apparently someone is coming in one day next week.

WHAT?!?! You do not get a 30 day free trial!!!! Hire someone who is intelligent and ambitious and then tell everyone else NO!

Not that they asked me, but even if they had, I couldn't come in one day a week so they could "try" me. For crying out loud! Some of us have full time jobs already.
Anyways, they didn't ask me, though he didn't seem willing to give me a definite no. But I'm going to take it that way. If they call me in the next few weeks, fine. If not, I'll call them eventually to get the "what could I have done better?" riff.
The thing is, not only did I want that job, but I really really wanted to be done with looking. And I really really really didn't want to do this commute anymore.

I shall console myself with Harry Potter (in IMAX 3-D!!) on Friday and the Chocolate Festival on Saturday.

Look, I'm on the Simpsons!

And so is Joe!







I think I did a better job with Joe's. It's hard to objectively make yourself into a cartoon character. Or maybe Joe just naturally looks more like a Simpsons character...

I need a bubble bath

My body keeps finding new and increasingly fun ways to express just how much I stress it out.
A few years ago I developed hives while I was unemployed. I was afraid I had some disease.
My back, of course, goes out when it gets really bad. My skin freaks out, which is not so unusual, and is the only reason that I'm pretty sure that that is what is going on with me now. All of a sudden I have zits. Often I develop an eye twitch, which will linger for weeks.
I chew my fingernails until they bleed, which you could argue is voluntary. I get funky stomach problems, which is also common.
The latest fun one is that my scalp hurts. Not itches, HURTS. Like I sunburned it. Except I didn't, and this had been going on for days. If I do go to scratch it, I flinch away like I just scratched over a scab. It is possible that I'm allergic to something, or that it's dandruff, but considering my other stress-related symptoms, I'm betting that's it.
The funny thing is that I rarely stress over big things. I only have percieved stress.
Someone going in the hospital? Moving? Might make me crazed, but I don't fall apart over it. I think it is because these things have goals, actions. A start and a stop point.
Me worrying about hearing back about a job interview? Has no end and no outlet. There's nothing I can do. Not a single. Thing. Except agonize. Worry. Internalize it all to mean that I'm worthless. Which is why this kind of stress is worse for me.

I just wanna go to Hawaii

I read a study that says 45% of professionals don't use all of their vacation days.
Who are these people?!?!
I just found out that I have zero sick days left and that I'm actually in the NEGATIVE numbers on my vacation days. And it's only June.
I think too many people want to feel like they're indisposable at work. Like if they take two days off the whole place will fall apart without their brilliant insights and hard work. I have no such illusions.
I wonder how my boss feels about unpaid vacation days?

Freaking out a bit

I'm having the what-to-do-with-my-life panicks. This has happened once or twice a year since college.
I mean, I'm generally unsure of what I want to do and mildly miserable in whatever job I have, but during the panicks, I do things like quite jobs on the spot and threaten to move home to Wisconsin or start researching business schools.
Or grab scissors and start cutting my own hair. The haircuts I get now are WAY too expensive to start doing stuff like that again, though. Maybe I'll get a tattoo.
This is not suprising, considering WisCon and all (where I actually get to do something I love for a few days), but not terribly convenient. I'm about to start novel_in_90 which I was actually very excited for. And that IS something I want to do with my life. I don't have time for day job/career changes right now.
It's just that I've been thinking about going to grad school for an MFA in writing (or an MA in literature with an emphasis in Creative Writing, which sounds brilliant to me because the two do not exist in a vacuum, but apparently an MA is less respected when looking for Creative writing jobs? According to some people. As though any of those jobs really exist. Isn't that like worrying about what ogres like to eat for dinner? If the question arises, knowing the answer will undoubtably serve you well, but the chances...anyways, I would research this).
I have no illusions about what an MFA would do for me. It will not land me a book deal. I will probably not get a me a job. I will just be doing something I love for 2 years. The fear, though, is that once I get out, I will be even LESS employable than I am now. I'm not especially knowledgable about the video stuff I do now, and after 2 years I'll probably be too rusty to jump back in (plus, I will care even less).
But I want to consider carefully before I make any more stupid life choices. I can't say I regret anything I've done in my life yet, but I do think it's time for a bit of a plan. Also, I applied to 4 MFA programs once before (er, the top 4 in the country, which I now believe is meaningless, plus I was straight out of college) and was rejected by all 4. Which I do think is a blessing, since now there is no way I would want to go to any of those (except maybe that one in Austin that is free).
In the end, I think it would be worth it for those 2 years. And at least it's a chance. Where I'm going now is NOWHERE.
Or maybe I should just quit and go work at a coffeeshop, since I always talk about how I want to open a coffeeshop one day. Which is, of course, one of the hardest businesses to keep afloat and make money at. Why find an underserved niche and fill it, when I can do what everyone else tries to do?

Tech Stuff

This just looks too cool: http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/industry/4217348.html

Imagine that is your kitchen table. You could read from it while you ate your cereal, control the tv. Design a webpage or two.

Back to the Rat Race

Some chucklehead on the other side of my cubicle wall is going through every single ringtone on their cell phone, obviously trying to decide which one to use next.

Some things should be done in the privacy of your own home.

Parties with the Dorks

Yesterday evening was the Tiptree Auction, one of my favorite events. It always gets a little out of control, and indeed, Elizabeth Bear (wearing a green corset) offered to be one of the Lovely Ladies showing off merchandise, and I, at some point in the evening, three a dollar into Sharyn November's skirt to buy a Faery Handbag for Kelly Link. I do love these people.
I got bored more quickly than usual, however. I think last year was so big, so over the top, that this year everyone is taking a collective breath (if they showed up at all--there aren't nearly as many guest of honor alumni this year as there normally is). I think there weren't that many exciting things in the pot, and fewer people to bid them up to crazy amounts.
So we bailed early and went to the haiku earrings party. My Haiku was titled "The Clockwork Fairy":
Music Winding Down
Her Battery Induced Haze
Punk Pierced Silver Arms

And for this I was given a pair of earrings.

Whoops, time to go to the next panel. My NEXT post will be about the parties, I promise. It's good stuff...

My Panel

My panel went SO well! I'll do a full on write up about it later, I promise.

I am starting to understand the reason for the smell. When you don't spend your lunch and dinner hours alone with a sandwich, you run out of time to shower. However, if one knows that one acquires an overwhelming odor after a day or two, MAKE time.

My roomies are great. I LOVE being a heavy sleeper. I didn't even notice one of them coming in at 2 a.m.

Going to try to hit the art show and dealer's room (I specifically brought money for books this year) at dinner time.

Dispatches from a Scifi Convention Continue

NrD report #234ohbn:
The smell has not improved, though the natives have become more friendly. Chocolate is abundant, though water seems in short supply.

Awkwardness abounds.

I have, however, now found all my friends. Two of my roommates are here for the first time, and accompany me to most things, which can be nice.

My workshop was FANTASTIC. I got so many great ideas and encouragement. After discussing with other people afterwards, who also had good experiences, I still realized that I am amazingly confident about my writing. Apparently other people stress about what people will think about their story. I assume people will like it overall, other than problems A, B, and C. And then they will tell me I am a fantastic writer, and show great promise.

Am I conceited? Am I pumped up by false pretenses? Does it even matter?

Only time will tell.

I find myself taking on the tone of a wise-old convention goer around my roommates. Must stop that. I imagine if it is not annoying yet, it will be.

There are so many good panels coming up! I truly have not had this much trouble deciding what to do in the past. I'm wishing I had a time-travel device like Hermione does in the third Harry Potter book, so I can attend more than one class at a time.

I had my palm read and my numerology done. My number is 3, which means I'm an artist (yay!) and I should focus on the joy of living. My life line is of an average length, but is especially deep and strong, which means I live with passion. My career path has diverged or will diverge soon (let's hope so!). I am an open-hearted person (not sure about that one).

NRD Report # w4l5

First day at my third WisCon. I had assumed after all this time, and after knowing a few people here finally, my crushing socially anxiety would become less.

What a fool I am.

I spent the afternoon bummed I my parents had to leave early, bummed my one friend who I actually had a cell phone number for wasn't (and still hasn't) calling me back, and eventually bummed I hadn't called my cousins earlier because they were both about to leave town.

But I worked out, took a shower, wrote a bit. I finally got to do some activities, and met someone I knew there. They were doing something else afterwards however, so I went to the first reading alone. Again, I met someone I knew, and even went out to dinner with a group of people, which was really nice.

However, as soon as we got back to the hotel, they all kind of...disappeared. The lobby has cleared out. I think everyone is either out to a bar or in bed (at 9pm! It's only 7pm on the west coast!). Which is fine, because I will get very little sleep from here on in. But I wish I could find my original friends again, or go to a bar with someone. But now there is no one. I feel like a girl without a date.

My roommates should arrive in an hour or two, though, so that is an event to look forward to. I will meet them, and hopefully hang out with them tonight, or go to bed at the same time if they're tired.

Over and out.

War and Peas

I eat sugar-snap peas the same way I eat chocolate chips.
I think, I'll just have one or two, just for the taste. I'm not really hungry. Then, well, I'll grab a handful. Then before I know it I'm sneaking them left and right, not paying attention to what I'm eating and the entire bag is gone.
Why can't I be like that with ALL veggies?

Whine, cry.

I'm wanting to be a big baby right now :(

But my back huuuuuuurts! I couldn't even walk upright yesterday. It hasn't gone out on me (yet. Cross your fingers.) but I'm all kinked up like an old man. Painkillers do nothing, and taking my "last resort" drugs during the first hour of my work day is a bad idea. I can't go to la-la land until after lunch. At least.

I'm a bit stressed out lately, with job stuff and going to WisCon and missed hair appointments and whatnot. That certainly doesn't help.

This is what happens when you lose weight and exercise, folks. Let that be a lesson to you.

Before I Forget

Apparently this pet food contamination thing is not slowing down, and it's definitely not over. In fact, more foods are being added to the FDA "black" list every day. It's becoming more and more widespread.
Joe's friend's cat is probably going to die, and he was feeding her a really high-quality brand of food.
So without further ado, here is the website with lists of food to avoid and other information:
http://www.fda.gov/oc/opacom/hottopics/petfood.html

Please read and be really careful!

I'm a Slacker

Man, I've really been slacking on the blog here, but Blogger has been giving me troubles lately.
Mostly, I'm just really excited to go to WisCon! I get in Wed, May 23 at 1:40pm (are you listening parents?) and I leave Monday at 4:05pm.
I'm on a panel this year! I'm going to talk about books that take place underground and their significance in literature. I've always been a little obsessed with any kind of secret place, and places underground seem like the ultimate secret. I'm nervous, but it will be fun. One of my friends is even on the panel with me. This will be the first time I go to WisCon where I already know people.
While there, we should check out Dr. Evermore's Sculptures. It's not that far from Baraboo, which I think is not far from where we're staying Wed. night. It looks pretty neat, and I've always wanted to go.
In other news, we finally got to do a major trip to Target with Joe's friend's truck. Now we have a dresser, another bookshelf, a grill and I have a desk on the back porch! The dresser is an absolute piece of crap. It makes me SO mad. I would mind having a piece of crap dresser if it were CHEAP, but it's not. I'm mad because I (not just my dad, who builds beautiful furniture, but ME) could manage to build a better dresser for half the price if I only had the tools. And the space. And materials. But I'm not yet ready to invest in such things, so I'll do my best with this.
Which reminds me, I need to pick up some wood glue. Grr.
The only good thing I can say about it is that at least it's real wood, not "particle-filled pressed fiberboard" like IKEA furniture is. Ugh. I hate Ikea.

Grandma Garnet

Just under 2 weeks ago, I was talking to my mom and asked how my grandma was doing. She's been getting sicker and sicker for years now, and had recently gone into the nursing home.
"She has an ear infection now," my mom said.
Sheesh! I thought, how much more can that poor woman take.
I guess that was it.
The next morning my mom called. I couldn't answer because I was at work, but I had a pretty good idea of why she was calling. People talk about the dreaded "middle of the night" call, when they know something is wrong. I get the middle of the day call. My mom knows I can't answer, so there are only a few reasons she would call.
When my grandpa died last year, I knew something was wrong when my mom called twice in a row. She never does that either.
So I finally called her back and found out that my Grandma Garnet, my dad's mom, died last Monday morning at the nursing home. Nobody was especially shocked, and I think a few of us were even relieved. At this point, she was just suffering. She hadn't smiled in a long time, and being so ill, and so afraid of being ill, for that long strips a person of their personality.
I wasn't able to go to the funeral. It's a pretty wretched trek from the west coast, and I'd rather go for a whole week this summer when I can spend more time with my grandpa and parents.
What do I remember about my grandma?
My two earliest significant memories of her are...weird.
First, I remember being at church with her. We went to the Nazarene Church most Sundays with my grandparents (while my parents snoozed at home). I remember one Sunday the pastor mentioned something in his sermon about the evils of alchohol. Afterwards, grandma asked me if my dad still drank beer.
"Sure," I said. "He drinks beer all the time!" I was probably 8 or 9. Or even younger.
"We're going to have to pray for him then," she told me.
I went home and told my mom that we were going to pray for dad for drinking beer.
Much eyerolling followed.
My second memory was that she was the first person who ever told me what being "gay" meant. I saw some literature in her mail about it, and asked her what that meant. She told me, though I can't remember exactly how. I also don't remember getting any connotation of it, negative or otherwise from her. Though she certainly didn't bother to tell me that her oldest son was gay. Also, I suspect that the literature I saw (knowing the kind of people they rolled with) was not at all pro-gay material.
I could go on about my young memories of her, but they're all of a similar angle. Weird, right? How did I wind up so liberal?*** Maybe I'll post more later, actually. They are rather fascinating.
My grandma and grandpa were married for 61 years. That is beyond amazing. My grandma was the oldest of 9 kids. She was in the army (she drove a jeep!). She got her teacher's degree. All in all, her life was pretty full, and pretty interesting. I think it is partly because of her that I learned to see the world in terms of stories to be told.
I'm glad she was in my life, and she will be missed.
***My mom, that's how.

Ow, my pancreas

The night before last, allergies decided to sucker-punch me in the middle of the night. I spent yesterday in a haze.

Today it rained, so everyone keeps saying I should be feeling better. Then why do I feel like I'm still curled into a ball on the floor, while my allergies kick me in the ribs and laugh?

My whole body hurts. If I still feel like this tomorrow, I am totally staying home and watching Disney movies.

Also, I wish someone would go get me some hot chocolate.

Grindhouse Love

Grindhouse is a double feature of horror movies. The first is a zombie movie called "Planet Terror" directed by Robert Rodriguez. Actually, it's more of an homage to classic zombie movies, and makes fun of the grossness and campiness. He made it with an old-school scratched up look, including (or not including?) a missing reel. I looooooove all things zombie, and I had no idea what this movie was going to be. So I was pleasantly suprised. Pretty standard zombie plot, but very funny and very well-done.
The ooziness gets pretty vile (props to my mom for sitting through the whole thing, even if she closed her eyes a few times). The main character (Rose McGowen) has her leg torn off by zombies and later replaces it with a machine gun. That's right! How does she shoot it? Don't know, don't care! But at one point she shoots straight into the ground, launching herself in the air and lands in a spin kick that kills all the army guys around her!
I almost cried with joy. My life had no meaning until now.
It may even be better than Bruce Campbell replacing his arm with a chainsaw in the Evil Dead movies, but it's proabably blasphemous for me to suggest so. And anyways, Evil Dead is epic, so Planet Terror can't really compare.
Between and before the two movies are fake trailers that were pretty funny. We heard somewhere that "Machete" is supposed to actually be made into a movie soon.
The beginning of the second movie "Death Proof" drags a bit. It's easier to bear if you know what Quentin Tarantino's movies are like. He does this often, and the payoff is always worth it. This one is more of a psycho thriller, with Kurt Russell playing the part of Kurt Russell--er, I mean, the psycho killer Mike the Stuntman. When he messes with the wrong girls (Zoe Bell--the stuntwoman for Xena as their perky leader) he turns into a blathering baby. Awesome, awesome ending. I'll ruin it for you. They beat the hell out of him. With their car. And a metal pipe. And their fists.
Greatest three and a half hours I have EVER spent in a movie theater. One of the best movies I've seen lately--but definitely not for everyone. For horror lovers only (though again, my parents managed to be at least entertained by it--unlike the middle-aged couple next to me in the movie theater. They left after 20 minutes!).

Woot

We're going to see Grindhouse tonight and...5 days 'til Vegas!!!

Some Serious Meat

Because of the intense overtime Joe and his coworkers have been putting in, they decided to treat themselves (and their significant others) to a good steak dinner. Courtesy of the company.
The steak house we went to was one of those old school places, with brown leather chairs and carpeting and waiters in suit jackets. The special of the day was Antelope, sliced thin. Mmm, jumpy meat. So who orders it? Joe, of course.
Unfortunately, a few minutes after we ordered, the waiter came back and said the kitchen was out of antelope. Boo. Their substitute was venison. I'm sure it was delicious, but not nearly as exciting, so he just went ahead and got a regular old porterhouse steak instead.
I ordered the filet mignon rossini, which is filet mignon with a slab of foie gras on top. It hurt me to order something that expensive, even when someone else was paying! Once it came, though, it was totally worth it. Even if I was paying for it. It was possibly the best thing that anyone ordered, and Joe kept trying to steal more and more bites off my plate. Wow.
We also shared 2 bottles of wine (between six of us). A very nice treat, though even a dinner like this does not make up for the RIDICULOUS number of hours Joe has been putting in. His boss called at 8 a.m. this Saturday! Not cool!
Today is the first day of Passover. Joe and I are going to host a seder and Christy is coming to share. I wish Luke and Aliza were here--that would be perfect--but they flew to Vegas to spend Passover with her grandma and parents. So we will have a small, low-key affair this time.

Mustang Sally

I finally got up the guts to start asking around about the possibility of transferring to a different department. I was so nervous before talking to the first guy, I felt like I was trying to ask him out on a date! Eventually, I talked to the manager of that department, and he said yes, it was possible, but only when a position actually opens up.
So now I wait. Meh. I want instant gratification! I was so brave!
I still need to let my current manager know I'd like to move. I hope that doesn't make me a traitor.
Meanwhile, I will still try to find a new outside job. It's just that searching for a job is a really special kind of hell. I was sort of hoping to just transfer here. I mean, my 401k is here, and who wants to do all the paperwork of rolling it over? Not me.
Of course, not having this commute would be nice. We'll just see.
In other news, my brother and his girlfriend rented a red Mustang convertible yesterday. They picked me up and we drove across the bridge (it was cool--and cold!) and then we spent some time hiking around on the other side of the bay around cool old abandoned army bunkers. Then we drove to San Rafel (after putting the top up) for dinner.

The Pain Distracts Me

Do you ever want to drag your head along the wall while you're walking around, letting it bang against every doorjamb, lightswitch, whiteboard or picture frame you pass?

Today I do.

Out of Chaos, Into the Light

We're moved. Not unpacked, but it's over. Luke came over last night and we made dinner together. He frolicked happily through our garden and gave the place a stamp of approval. It's only a 15-20 minute walk from where he works, so we're betting we'll see him MORE now.
Now it is time for me to stress over the fact that I have not done taxes. This is the longest I've ever waited, and I'm not showing signs of getting to it anytime soon. Besides, I file online, and we won't have internet until Saturday. I don't think they would appreciate it if I did them at work. Meh. If the IRS wants to audit me, then they must be really really bored.
Last weekend, after two days of apartment hunting, Christy came and picked me and Joe up and took us out to the beach. It was awesome. We explored the old Sutro baths a bit, including this neat little tunnel you can walk down to where the waves crash up over huge rocks. People stood there forever, just staring at the water. We hiked along the bay, back towards the city a little. I'd like to come back soon and hike this whole path all the way back. Then we had a drink at the Cliff House and dipped our toes in the ice-cold ocean. I could only stand it for a minute or two until my feet went numb, but somehow there were teenaged boys surfing on those little wakeboards over the edge of the waves--without wet suits. Jeepers.
We had dinner with Megan Sunday night at a place called Michaelangelo's, just a few blocks from our house. They have a big cheese wheel that they will just randomly come and set on your table for you to take cheese chunks from. We got a carafe of wine that they pour into a jug shaped like a chicken and when you pour, it comes out its mouth. Doesn't get much better than that. I had delicious lasagna and Megan told us the story of how she was just kicked out of her apartment. Her roommate, who Megan was subletting from, hadn't paid the rent in 3 months. She was just taking Megan's part of the rent and pocketing it! Megan's not in any trouble, but she may not get her security deposit back, since it was paid directly to the stealing, lying girl.

Apartment Pictures

Since there were some issues emailing pictures, I'm gonna post 'em here (if it works). This is the cleanest our place has ever been! Though it's not hard to get a place clean when you don't have much stuff!

We started packing last night, even though we're not positive when we're moving. We did get a couple to take over our lease though! That's a load off my mind.

Life Imitates Cartoons

Do you remember that episode of Winnie the Pooh where Pooh goes over to Rabbit's house and eats so much honey that he gets stuck trying to get back out? He's so fat now he gets stuck in the hole Rabbit uses as a front door. They have to wait all winter for Pooh to get thin again before they can pull him out. Pooh tries to bribe anyone who passes by to give him some food, while Rabbit uses his butt as an end table.

This story is the human version of that:

"An overweight woman who got stuck in a South African cave trapped 22 fellow tourists for more than 10 hours and had to be prised free with liquid paraffin.
The woman became trapped in the Tunnel of Love obstacle in the Cango Caves in Western Cape on New Year's Day.
The caves' manager said the woman had been warned she might not be suitable but she insisted on trying.
One of those trapped was a diabetic who had to be brought insulin. The woman and the other tourists were unhurt.
The rescue operation involved several ambulance teams and a helicopter."

Read the full version here.

Kinda makes me want to stick with WW even more now...

Oscar Party

Now, normally the idea of actually sitting and watching the Oscars is about as interesting to me as, oh, sitting and watching the Superbowl.
But, as I learned with the Superbowl, you just throw a party and voila! It's actually fun.
Fancy dress was required. I wore a long black skirt, shiny purple shirt and a pretty scarf. Christy wore a beautiful blue ball gown, Joe wore a suit jacket, and Luke and Aliza showed up in full-on 80's dance party garb.
Whatever floats your boat.
A few more of Luke's friends showed up too. They brought beer, Christy brought snacks and we ordered Chinese food for dinner.
I had been gathering uber-lame prizes (mostly from Goodwill and the post-Valentine's Day sales at Walgreens) just for this night. Luckily, I had just enough for everybody. Everyone voted on who they thought would win, then first place got to pick their prize first.
Joe won by a landslide, with 16 categories right. He got a Japanese handtowel.
Luke and I tied for second, with 9 each. Luke got a Wisconsin photo magnet that I just happened to find at Goodwill. I bowed out of the prize picking, but even after everyone chose, the one thing I actually wanted was left--a pink, plastic piggybank. His nose screws off so you can get the money out!
The one bummer was that our silly DVR (which we used to record the Oscars because people couldn't get there until after it started) failed to record the last 30 minutes. So we missed out on seeing the biggest awards!
Oh well. Thank goodness for the internet.

Chocolate in My Bra (happens more than I care to admit)

I have discovered the greatest thing ever: Scharffen Berger's "Nibby" bar. I grabbed it because it was small and made of dark chocolate. Only when I sat down to eat it did I realize that there were actual CHUNKS of cocao beans in it.

Oh, heck yeah.

Belated Valentine's Day

Our real Valentine's Day celebration began, as all good celebrations should, with copious amounts of drinking before noon.
After brunch, we went to the Barleywine Festival over at Toronado on Haight Street. Barleywine is basically really really really strong beer. One kind we tried was 27% proof. Compare that to Bud Lite's 5%. You could buy it in tiny little tasting glasses though, so you would be able to try lots of different kinds. We only made it through 6, mostly because it simply got too crowded in there for us. There are some people who wait outside before the place even opens at 11:30 am, then camp at a table with a picnic lunch and 5 of their best friends. They then proceed to try ALL 50 KINDS! Not that hard with 6 people and only 3 oz glasses, but still amazing.
After that we headed to the Antiquarian Book Fair. I wasn't terribly excited to go, mostly because Joe was excited about the stuff like a Plato manuscript. Which is cool and all, but boooooring.
But there was tons of cool stuff. Recent books, super old books. The most expensive one we saw was a first edition of Gulliver's Travels for $150,000. Wow. Pretty good condition too. There was a first edition of Bartholomew and the Oobleck I would have loved, but what I really wanted, and what I would buy if I had a few tens of thousands of dollars lying around, was a first edition copy of "Where the Wild Things Are." They ranged in price from $18-35,000.
Mom, did you have a copy of this when you were a kid? It was published in 1964. Please say yes.
Then say that you think you still have it up in Grandpa's attic. That would be a great inheritance...
Our final destination was the Cliff House, a restaurant that juts out over the Pacific Ocean (not the Bay, by where Luke works). The food was excellent, though still overpriced as we expected. It was neat. The Sutro Bathhouse used to be there, and the restaurant kept part of the original ceiling. They would pump in ocean water and heat it. 10 cents a swim! You can still see part of the ruins.

SF has its perks

It's soooooo nice out today!
I feel like I did in high school, when you'd get one of those Friday afternoons in May, where it was so nice out and so close to the end of the school year that it actually caused you physical pain to stay inside.

If you were one of the bad kids, you'd skip your last class and go drive around.

If you were a good kid, you'd run outside for a few minutes between classes to bask in the sun on the front stairs.

And if, like me, you were one of those good kids who was so good that you could actually get away with anything, you'd tell the teacher of your last class that you had to run to the store to get something for, um, shop class. Yeah, the hardware store. Only open until 3 on Fridays.
THEN you'd go drive around.

Unless Mrs. Bartlein was your last class teacher. Then you would get a snort of disbelief and an eyeball roll. Then you would sit down. And probably learn something.

Probably something important, in fact.

Whale Chase

Blogger is making me do weird things, changing the way you sign in and post. Ugh. I may switch over the Live Journal entirely.

I've been having intensely weird dreams lately. Last night I dreamt I was being chased by a whale. When I finally got out of the water. the whale jumped onto the beach and kept chasing me by kind of flopping foward. He gashed my leg with his teeth (yes, I know whales don't really have teeth, per se, but I'm sure he could draw blood with his jaws, regardless). However then he was too far inland and had to go back. I drew a line in the sand so I knew how far he could get, because I knew he would try again later. I was too scared to go into the jungle on this desert island, so I needed to know where it was safe to sleep on the beach.

I think it's no coincidence I was dreaming about work just before this. Feel trapped much?

I got my hair cut again, and this may be the shortest it's ever been. I have learned (in my wise old age) the value of a really good haircut. Even when the old one started to grow out, even when I don't do anything to it, my hair looks much nicer than it ever did before.

I always tell them it needs to be super low maintanence. I am not a blow dryer kind of girl. I am not a hot iron kind of girl. I'm barely even a product kind of girl. And they swear to me that it will look fine if I just let it air-dry and it does, but...
It never looks nearly as cool as when they do it. My hair is sort of...fluffy. Not curly, but not totally straight either. So the super-shortness can look a little weird. It makes my head look incredibly round, which is why hairstylists are often hesistant to cut it that short.

So yesterday I found myself buying a hot iron. I haven't burned myself yet.

On Valentines' Day, Joe and I got takeout burgers, then stopped at the new candy store on the way home. That candy store is SO MUCH FUN! They have all kinds of stuff, and we got lots of little baggies of things to try.
I swear, we didn't even eat that much, but both of us did not feel well afterwards. I don't know if it was the burgers or the candy or the collective rot of eating junk food we're not used to. Bleh.

But Saturday is our real Valentines' Day. We're going out to eat at a restaurant overlooking the ocean, way out by the beach. Hopefully it won't make us sick.

More rejection

So after my "good" rejection from Black Gate of my "depressing" story, I decided (hoped) that Chiaroscuro Magazine, being of a darker ilk, would be the proper home for it. Today I received the following rejection:

Thank you for sending "Of Its Own Accord" our way (though on the story itself, the title's given as "Her Own Accord"). I'm afraid we'll be taking a pass this time. I'm predisposed to like this sort of post-disaster scenario and there are some really nice, deft moments here, as with that initial imagined conversation. But Justin hovers a bit too uneasily between sensible and deranged, and the Phil-and-Derek storyline and the end of the piece don't quite come together for me.

Best of luck placing this one elsewhere, and please do keep us in mind for your future work.

Cheers,

Fiction Editor
http://chizine.com/

I don't know if I can count this among my good rejections. I suspect they give a line or two of ideas to every story, though I'm not sure. Anyways:

Justin hovers a bit too uneasily between sensible and deranged

Er, that's sort of the point of the story, so I'm not sure how to work on that one. I think I'll chalk it up to artistic differences.

the Phil-and-Derek storyline and the end of the piece don't quite come together for me

This one I understand, though that doesn't mean I know how to fix it. The ending isn't a direct cause-and-effect line, and I can see how some people wouldn't buy it. It may be time to put this story into the "Needs Serious Rewrites" folder.

However, I then looked at the history of this story, wondering where I can submit it next, when I realized that I never got an answer on it from Ideomancer. A loooooooong time ago. So long ago that at this point it is totally my fault for not following up. They wrote back once asking for it in a different format, I sent the new format, then...nothing.

And yes, I know I'm not supposed to sub to another market until I've heard from the one before (at least not without telling them) but I simply FORGOT. Obviously. Which is why I'll never be annoyed at editors when they don't get back to me. If I can't even keep track of my own submissions, how can I expect them to?

Heck, I can't even keep the title of my story straight. Though both titles are awful, I admit.

Ok, off to hassle the Ideomancer folk.

I'm Melting!

The Rain! The rain has come at last! For months now, every time we got a little sprinkle people would say, Oh it's going to rain for MONTHS now. And then the next day would be sunshiney.
But I believe them this time. It is February, and it has been downpouring for two days. As much as I completely dig the constant sunshine, I'm kind of excited about the rain.
I suppose I ought to go get myself a rainjacket.
The Superbowl was fun. Joe and I had a last minute party with Luke, Aliza and Christy. Luckily we had ingredients for guacamole, everyone brought beer, and then we ordered a pizza (Chicago style, of course!) Luke and I both had money in Superbowl pools, but lost miserably. This is the first time I have watched an entire Superbowl since the Packers were in it.
My Weight Watchers total is at 25 pounds now! They give you a fun little magnet for that. Also, I now officially weigh less than I did in high school, though just barely.
I've started my next novel, almost accidentally. I just didn't know what to start on next. Sometimes having too many ideas is a bigger problem for me than having none at all. In fact, that's always a problem. I need to do a lot more research for this novel, though some thing can be put in later. Sometimes you just need to get the characters moving!
I bought my brother a Betty Crocker cookbook, the new edition, for his birthday and I liked it so much, I might have to go buy my own! Sunday morning I got up and made muffins out of it. They were lemon muffins, because we'd just gotten Meyer lemons at the farmer's market. Then, when they had 7 minutes left to cook, Luke and Aliza just happened to be walking by and stopped over. I think they followed their noses. So I gave Luke the cookbook along with a fresh muffin.
Everyone has been completely ignoring STNB, to the point where I feel kind of bad for him and have been trying to tolerate him better. I actually listen to his ramblings and am the first to voluteer to help on his projects. Sigh. I try to tell people I'm really a mean person most of the time, but nobody ever believes it.

On Second Thought

On second thought, I see an entire keg of Bud Light in the kitchen for the Superbowl party. I forgive them for forgetting my donuts.
In other news, Slow Talking Nerd Boy (STNB) has been moved to our side of the cubicle divide. Apparently he has seniority over the recently vacated window desk.
uuuuuuggggghhhh.
Just today I heard him talking to a new girl in a different department. As I walked by, he said to her, "Oh, I think you have something on your chin."
"Yes," she said. "It's a mole."
Shudder.
The only good parts are that he's still not next to me (still plenty of unsuspecting victims in between us) and that the Interesting Irish guy might also be moving over here too. He seems to be able to put up with STNB better than the rest of us.

Great Big Walls of Stupid

I keep running into big walls of stupid today at work.
People who can't read an email all the way to the bottom.
People who don't understand or cannot manage to use the "reply to all" function in email, despite my tutorial.
People who like to guess at times and dates, assuming I enjoy scanning four hours of football coverage looking for a mention of Bud Light.
If I go home with another ripping headache today, I'm going to have to take some anger management classes.
And apparently we're having some half-assed Superbowl party this afternoon, which is cool and all, but I believe it has pre-empted the traditional Friday morning doughnut run. Not cool, people. I demand BOTH.
Also, apparently most adults (at least the ones who work for my company) don't understand how time zones work.
And did you all know that Canada has some half-time zones? Those crazy Canadians!

Shopping and Such

I bought shoes on sale! Shoes that are cute. Heels, in fact, though they're incredibly comfortable. They make me very happy. I replace my everyday tennis shoes on average about every 6 months. This is because they get stinky (which no washing can remove) and because the lining of the heels tends to disintegrate. Other than that, I haven't bought new shoes in probably a year. Oh, and they're green.
This weekend was spent at home, puttering and watching TV and trying to write. Joe is basically homebound for the next 2 months, having to work every weekend until he meets some deadline. Silly jobs. I went to the crappier, smaller farmer's market that is closer to our house just to get us some fruit to make it through the week. Though there is one stand I really like there, and I bought kiwis! They're in season, and all misshapen and wonderfully not uniform. I like that.
Friday night (at a going away party after work) I finally asked the other girls in my department if Slow Talking Nerd Boy bugs them too, and they can't STAND him. We complained all the way home. See it's not just that he's a nerd. He's creepy too.
Finally, I saw Dreamgirls Friday night with Christy. It was good. Not amazing. I would like to see the actual musical. The thing is, their mouths didn't always quite match up with the singing, which constantly reminded you that they were lipsynching to a studio recording they had done. I dunno, kinda kills the magic.
I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, starting with season 1. It always seemed overly cheesy and Sarah Michelle Gellar was too cutesy to me. But all my scifi buddies love it, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Apparently it gets better in Season 3. We'll see.

Slow Talking Nerd Boys Who Think They Stand A Chance

So today I went into the lunchroom to sit and write
(and eat). I've been writing there every lunch hour
for a few weeks now. Someone else was sitting at the
table by the one outlet in the room. That's fine,
since I had my notebook today, not my laptop. I sat
down at the table next to it to eat.
5 min later, that person leaves and Slow Talking Nerd
Boy comes and sits down. Lately he's been cornering me
to ask if I'm a writer and have I ever published
anything and he's a writer too and boy it's hard to
find time and wah wah wah.
So he pulls out his laptop, plugs it in and starts
typing.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
He tried to talk to me, but I ignored him. I kept my
head down and because I had headphones on, I could
pretend like I didn't hear him. But when I got up to
put my dishes away, he FOLLOWED me into the kitchen to
tell me about these siamese twins and then ask what
kind of books I read (we've been over this, idiot) and
lament the lack of good female protagonists. wah wah
wah. I nodded and stared at my food in the microwave.
Then I went back to my table and put my headphones on
again.
Does he take my ignoring and borderline rude behavior
as mysteriousness and aloofness?
He knows I have a boyfriend. He commented on my Commander shirt one day
(way to stare at my chest, jerk) and I said my
BOYFRIEND got it because my BOYFRIEND works there.
Does he think we'll be writing buddies?!?! Because we
won't!!
And I was getting so much work done. Now I have to
start going to Starbucks to write. Maybe I can use one
of those outside tables.

Muir Woods

This Sunday, Joe, Christy and I hopped in Christy's car and took a trip over to Muir Woods, a mere 20 minutes away. It's really amazing the things you find just outside the city. Another 30 minutes north of that is Napa Valley.
On the way, we stopped in Sausalito for brunch, which is just on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was the most gorgeous day out. We had decent food and even got to eat outside. Sausalito's main street leads right into the water facing San Francisco. It's a cute town full of coffeeshops and art stores that I'd love to spend more time in. We found out that there's actually a ferry from SF to there, so we might try to do that one day.
Then off down a winding, twisting, vomit-inducing road to the woods. We didn't have a whole lot of time before the park closed (Christy, you putterer you!) so we just did the easy main trail at Muir woods, but it was worth it. Redwoods are breathtaking, even the ones that are only medium-sized. They're just so old! The woods really do look as misty and majestic as photographs make them out to be. The eco-system is delicate though. We saw the remains of what used to be that really famous walk-through tree that everyone took their picture in front of. It collapsed and died in 1971 from too many people walking over the roots. Now they're really hard-core about conservation.
It's a very soul-refreshing kind of place. I hope Christy keeps wanting to go on these outings. Having a car in SF is definitely a plus. I didn't miss it a bit in NYC, but here it would be nice. Joe and I want to sign up for zipcar soon, though. People have shown that even if you rented a car every single weekend, it would still be cheaper than actually owning a car in the city.
I'm all excited about going camping now. Once it warms up, we want to go up to Point Reyes just like Luke and Aliza did.
I'll try to get Joe to upload some of the digital pics from Muir Woods for y'all to ooh and aah over.
On our way home, we saw a small sign for Muir Beach, which is where the stream that runs through Muir Woods empties into the ocean. After driving down a cruddy little road and climbing over sand dunes and a smelly board walk, you come upon a beach, hidden in a bay among craggy cliffs. To the west was the sunset, and to the east, the foggy lights of San Francisco. Familys were packing up picnics and dogs ran around in the waves. A lovely end to a lovely day.

Ivy League

I had an interview this morning that I was NOT looking forward to, mostly because I scheduled it at 7:30 a.m. so I could still get in most of a day of work. Plus, it was an hour away, at Stanford University, in the OPPOSITE direction of work.
But nothing, nothing compares to seeing Stanford University for the first time when it is completely empty of all people, when the sun is just rising, when is is 30 degrees out.
I got tears in my eyes.
This is Ivy League, baby.
It is a campus. Other colleges I've seen, like NYU and Madison, are integrated right into the city they're in. NYU is cool, of course, but it's hard to tell when, if ever, you actually cross into the "campus." And Madison has things like Bascom Hall that are all up on a hill and cool, but mainly the rest of the campus is just buildings.
Stanford is grand brown sandstone buildings, with red slate roofs as far as the eye can see. Arched outer hallways and statues of Plato and Socrates by Rodin give the whole place a historic feel. There is a big church, with gorgeous stained glass windows that borders one side of the main quad, and while I stood there gaping at it, a guy came up, knelt in the middle of the quad facing the church and starting praying.
No kidding.
I was glad I got there early, so I had some time to wander around, though my ears were ice cubes by the time I could go inside.
Be sure to click on the pictures I linked to.
I'm not sure how the interview went, but it was totally worth it, just for the views!

WW

As of last night, I've lost 21.2 pounds on Weight Watchers. Yay! They even gave me a fun little keychain for it. Let's hope I can keep it up. Only forty or so more to go...
Bizarrely, when I showed up at the meeting on Wednesday, they said that was the last time we'd be meeting there because the hospital (where we meet) was throwing us out! In fact, we weren't even allowed a normal meeting that night. The meetings had gotten too big.
Apparently they had been meeting at a church before this that was condemned DURING a meeting, and proceeded to toss everyone out then too!
This could throw a lot of people off completely. I'm not sure where I'm going to go next week. Maybe I'll skip a week and see if they start up at a new place in the same area.

On Bras

How can bra designers be so bad at their jobs? Seriously, how hard is it to design a properly fitting bra that doesn't stab or scrap me in four places?
I'll admit, I'm not an easy girl to fit. But there are some common sense things we could learn.
For example, NO ONE buying a DD cup is going to be happy with those half-inch ribbons you call straps. Those won't hold up squat. All those will do is cut red, raw lines into my shoulders.
Same goes for that frilly bit of lace you included along the bottom. Sure, it looks pretty. And yes, that's part of what suckered me into buying it. But now it's hurting me. It has folded under and it itching me horrendously, causing me to reach up under my shirt and scratch myself in polite company. I will never buy a bra that looks like that again.
This goes for every other raw seam, unpadded edge and weirdly shaped underwire out there. I am not buying cheap bras, here, either. There is no excuse for this.
Sure, I could buy those big, white matronly things. They would give me great support. However, they generally seem to be made out of recycled army tent canvas and are no more comfortable than their highly decorated sisters.
And WHAT is with my straps falling down constantly?!?! Do I have uncommonly narrow shoulders? I don't think so. I'm built like a linebacker. Are these designed by men who LIKE to watch women reach inside their shirt every three minutes to haul up a strap? Can we possibly find someone inventive enough, creative and brilliant enough, to design straps that don't slip down to my elbows? Perhaps someday my bra savior will rise to power and create such a thing.
Give me a little help here, folks.

Stuff Lately

It is very cold here today. It makes my bones ache. I think I will take a hot bath tonight.

In other news, I think I got a place to sleep in the main hotel for WisCon. I hope it all works out. It will be fun to meet new people by having roommates, and to be right there for all the parties and mingling and networking. It will also be fun to NOT sleep on my cousin's couch while he and his drunken friends romp around.
Now I just have to buy plane tickets. I wish I knew what job I will have in May.

Meta stayed with us Mon-Wed this week and bought us a wok as a thank-you present! Then, she proceeded to cook us dinner on it. That's my kind of houseguest.
My birthday was nice too. Meta and I made homemade pizza, Christy came over, and the four of us ate ice cream and played the Wii.
Thanks for the clothes, Mom!
Joe's present to me is that jewelery class at the Crucible I've been eyeing. I think I'll have a blast!

This post sort of reads like a small-town gossip column :)
"On Monday, Miss Jones was visited by her friend from Australia. A good time was had by all..."

Zad and Oriana

Zad and Oriana have been visiting for the past week, along with Prufrock, who's been pretty well behaved so far. On New Year's Eve we went and saw the fireworks. We had a great view, but ended up walking all the way home. It took us an hour, and my feet still hurt. There were just too many people, and the buses were packed. We tried to walk along Fisherman's Wharf earlier, but it was plagued by what Zad calls "rampant scumbagery." Meaning, teenagers. Ugh.
Lots and lots of eating out too. Which is fun, but tough to do while trying to lose weight. I realize now that there were a lot of things that made me gain so much weight in NYC--we have a very specific way we all eat together. We order appetizers, then entrees (which everyone shares) and then usually dessert. Then drinking afterwards. Then once we get home, someone pulls out chips and salsa, or cookies, or whatever. The other night, after eating Burmese food, Joe got home and started to get himself a bowl of cereal. We never do that on our own! At least not anymore. I've never been a night eater, and I think I've influenced Joe out of that too (instead of the other way around, finally).
Last night we showed them our trip pictures and Joe gave Oriana all the rocks he'd collected for her along the way. Before that, we got sushi at a sushi boat place (Mom, remind me to bring you there. You'll plotz in happiness, like Oriana did). Then we walked around Japantown. Those are the times I miss the most, just wandering around with people. We did that in NYC all the time, but people don't seem to do that here. And Zad and Oriana are the most fun--Oriana is entertained by everything, and Zad usually makes me laugh until I cry. He's been sick with stomach problems for most of the trip, which must be awful and I feel so bad for him, but I must admit is pretty hilarious for the rest of us. We can be ruthless.
What else...we had dinner at Zuppenkuche on Zad's first night here, a German restaurant just down the street that's so popular we've never even been able to get a table before. Pretty good food, but what was most exciting was that they have the 2 liter glass boots, just like the Essenhaus in Madison. And, even more exciting, you can order a 5 liter stein of beer. That's right. I thought Zad's eyes were going to fall out. He is determined to drink one before he leaves (not even our favorite beer joints in NYC have a 5 liter stein) but even Zad has the good sense to realize he will die if he drinks it alone. So he has been actively recruiting Joe to help him out. Great.
Oh, and my FAVORITE part of the weekend: The Green Apple Book Sale. Green Apple books is sort of like the Strand of SF. Much smaller, but the same glorious, cramped piles of books. During the last week of December, they open up their warehouse to the public and mark the already discounted books off 50%. Luke went right away and called me from the warehouse because he was so excited, but I knew I had to wait for Oriana. We spent over an hour there. Oriana might even go back at the end of the week, as they were constantly replenishing picked-over shelves. There is very little organization, so you just scan the shelves, tossing books into your basket with abandon. I had to ask them to hold a pile for me behind the cash register because I couldn't carry any more. Between Joe and I, we spend $80. Sounds like a lot, but it was as many books as we could fit into our 2 backpacks and still walk upright. I would have bought more if we had a way to get them home! I got more than Joe (as he likes to point out) but his actually cost more because they were cookbooks, while mine were dirtcheap because fiction was 75% off (as I like to point out). I'm so excited. Now we just need a bookshelf to put them on.

Doorknobs

It sort of annoys me when people go through the whole using a paper towel to open the bathroom doorhandle routine. What exactly does this do? What are they afraid of? Cold or flu germs? Beyond The Plague That Will End The World Someday (ala 12 Monkeys), I don't think there is much else you can catch from a doorknob, barring any actual, you know, blood on it. Are these people going to be sticking their fingers in their mouth, or the mouths of others immediately afterwards? If so, I apologize for my sarcasm and eye-rolling when you do this.
Has anyone ever done a study to see if these people get noticably less colds or flu bugs than the rest of us? I'd put my money on no.